The paper next to me ruffled, like the mirrored surface of a bird bath on a breezy day, or a fidgety bed sheet impersonating a spooky ghost. In an instant it had shot across the room, leaving a prism of scorched air in its wake.
As the A4 page re-met the slitted maw of the printer a cacophony of grinding, shrieking, warbling bounced from every wall. The paper manically crumpled and uncrumpled itself, furiously trying to return to its mechanical womb. With a whip-like crack it was gone, vanished within the bowels of its maker.
And then … silence.
“£0.30 has been added to your account.”